When I Grow Up…

  Man, boy, son, brother, friend, student, paperboy, boy scout, dishwasher, maintenance man, carpenter etc. I am approaching 50 and still haven’t figured out what I want to be when I grow up… now I have reverted to saying if  I grow up. Frankly speaking, if growing up can be equated with finding the one thing I’m going to do for the rest of my life, then at the current rate when I finally find that one thing, there will be so little time left of my “life” it would be ridiculous  to make the statement “for the rest of my life.”

  I marvel at the person I hear about who has been at the same job for 40 years! The likelihood of me accomplishing such a feat falls into the same category as me gaining a patent on a German Tank with a kickstand. (“Not that there’s anything wrong with that“) There is certainly something to be said for perseverance in the workplace, I just remain undecided in regards to my future vocation. Of course being undecided has its own unique set of ramifications. For instance when I try to fill out a job application I inevitably run out of room when they ask for a list of past experiences, and if they ask for a chronological list of anything…forget it! I can’t remember what I had for breakfast this morning, let alone what I was doing last month or year! Another example is in the interview process, and the interviewer asks these ridiculous questions, ( I’m sure there is a book somewhere, probably written by Socrates or some such brainiac) that are supposed to reveal in some profound way the “real you”!

Miniatour bust of Socrates which I own (don't ...

Image via Wikipedia


 Interviewer: “Mr. Who, tell me in as few words as possible how being the first-born at the end of the baby boomer generation has uniquely positioned you for a job such as this?” Interviewed: “Aaaaah yes…sure, hhmmm, what an interesting question, I guess I would have to say…aaaaah, well… it would have to be that, uumm, could you repeat the question…slowly (in order to give me as much time as possible to overcome this brain fart and think of something either quasi intelligent to say, or fake a medical emergency whichever comes first). The worst part of the whole process is the interviewer is already thinking what use can this guy be, he hasn’t stayed in one job for more than ten years, he obviously hasn’t grown up yet! This of course is reinforced with my decisive and highly qualified answers to his questions! If he just gave me some blocks to play with I am sure I could spell out an answer for him in no time.

  I remain optimistic as I look ahead, after seeing the movie “Big

Cover of

Cover of Big


this optimism was reinforced, that even though I may be a child trapped in a full-grown adults body somewhere there is the perfect job for me. Meanwhile I will continue the search, making the most of every opportunity…I just hope I find it soon because all my crayons are broken and I am having a really difficult time fitting in to my overalls.



About JT

I am a happily married man with 6 children and have an autoimmune disease. I hope to share my story and explore others' stories and perhaps together both of our lives will be enhanced.
This entry was posted in humor, introspection, life and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to When I Grow Up…

  1. Mary says:

    Hmmm after watching “Big” I too am inspired. I want the job of playing with all the toys!!

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