Hi say I, somewhat sheepishly.
They say there are seasons in our lives …not really sure who “they” are, but, I guess I can agree that we go through various periods of time where what is happening or what we are focused on shifts with some definitive characteristics.
August of 2015 was one of those events that I could classify as an exclamation point ending a season or starting a season, perhaps both.
I had a heart attack on August 31st and although it was a mild one it shook me inside more than any event I can think of in recent memory. I began to think about things with a different perspective and about the end of this part of my journey here on planet earth. I don’t think I’m afraid of dying, but I’m not in a hurry either. My wife and children being the primary concerns, but also, I was wanting to see more of of this story unfolding as Jesus slowly removes the veil from my eyes. Part of me was hoping to be hands and feet for some of Jesus’ work.
I am not saying that this can’t now happen, just that from my vantage point it seems less likely. What I have been experiencing is a sense of slowing and turning a pseudo corner. I see things more as a matter of what is, instead of what might be. Melancholy has become more than an acquaintance. I wish bedtime lasted longer and daytime didn’t. My body protests at all manner of things reminding me of not only my declining years, but also my failure to care for my shell with more than an after-thought.
Please take note, this is not written with an attitude of woe is me. Rather I’m thankful for the incredible gift I have had both in opportunity and rich relationships. I have had more to be thankful for than many.
Thanks for reading,