A 4 Letter Word for Men Who Leave, and Other Misc. Thoughts Too…


Hello, and yes I’ve been a stranger. Kidney surgery over the last couple of weeks has really left me feeling less than ambitious in general and dis-engaged in particular. I haven’t even felt like reading much which is rather unusual for me. As I sit here now I have a tube draining my right kidney into a bag. Tomorrow they are supposed to go back in to remove some remaining debris that is still in there. I have told them that I want to wait a few months before doing the same surgery to the left kidney.

During this hiatus from my regular work and life schedules some things have crossed my path that have stirred my desire to share/vent about:

“Men who leave”, what I mean to say is Men who have made commitments intentional or otherwise to women. This could include marriage, pro-creating, or establishing a sense of mutual exclusivity and not honoring it.  In my mind these men do more damage to our society than any terrorist could possibly inflict. I know this may seem harsh given our propensity to live without accountability these days and this isn’t a blanket statement excluding all others from any culpability in this observation. Men unfortunately in large part are ignorant of how important a role they have as a husband, father, provider, protector, and priest, also our culture has spent the last few decades sending a message to men that has continually minimized their position and importance. We, as men, have by large let this happen (by and large) by resting on a justification of  “equality of the sexes”!

Equality has no place in this conversation, I am not talking about one gender being better than the other. Our values are equal! Our roles are not. We are different and I celebrate that. In the process though the balances have been thrown way out of whack! Men need to learn all over again how to be men… to make and keep promises, to be held responsible for our actions if we won’t take that responsibility willingly, to understand how vitally important their role is in their child’s life, to stop being so flippant about commitments that end up leaving wreckage as far as the eye can see when those commitments are broken.

I see people every day, broken, hurting, angry, emotionally scarred and it makes me sad and it makes me angry! Single mothers, thousands of them, children by the hundreds of thousands with no Father present! These children are not fatherless…. every one of them has a father …. VILE that is my four letter word !

Meanwhile most of our attention is developing programs to address the symptoms, while a nation continues to plummet into a social and familial abyss!

I am going to stop now because this topic is too large to be uncorked all here in a single post.

My next rant is the medical community… why is it we can come so far with technology and yet our communication skills seem to be getting worse by the day.  To make an appointment with a Dr today is akin to tying a rope around your waist and throwing yourself into a whirlpool: Call the Doctor, call the insurance company, call the specialist, call your primary for a referral, call and pre-register, and then get to the appointment two hours early with a file cabinet in tow to tell your life story before you can get past the secretary!

End Rant.

How are you all?

JT

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About JT

I am a happily married man with 6 children and have an autoimmune disease. I hope to share my story and explore others' stories and perhaps together both of our lives will be enhanced.
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5 Responses to A 4 Letter Word for Men Who Leave, and Other Misc. Thoughts Too…

  1. Kate Cote says:

    This ties right in with Pastor Gil’s sermon. Praying for a healing for you.

  2. Sending you the best as well as good thoughts and prayers my friend:) Medical is like a 3-Ring Circus and Good Luck to anyone trying to be proactive or get healthy – sorry your procedure was denied.

  3. waynelaw says:

    You hit this one dead center…I know money gets the prize for being the root of all evil, but all these kids getting a tough start on a rough life because of this epidemic is heartbreaking. It is like a terrorist planting a bomb that continues to blow up lives left to the care of the State.(or worse in many cases)
    There is so much of it and I totally agree that we are treating the victims (although inadequately at best) instead of addressing the real problem.
    And yes, I am one of those kids.

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