The Storm of which Century!


Baton the hatches and bring in the children, a storm is brewing and unless you have 13 loaves of bread and a half a cow of milk you may perish before the night is over. If you haven’t already filled your bathtub please do so immediately if not sooner as we expect the roads to be closed for the foreseeable future! (on that note please be sure your car is filled with gas)

We are expecting widespread power outages with cold temperatures and blowing and drifting verbal vitriol’s… er, I mean snow! So turn your freezer temperature to 32 below zero just in case you lose power and your sole heat source is non-functioning the house temperature is likely to plummet well below that. (what in the world are we going to do with all that frozen food if we lose power in the middle of a winter storm…Oh My).

Please be sure to pick up enough non-perishable food to ensure that you will survive for at least three weeks, (with all the sodium content you will still look good if you should leave us prematurely) and for goodness sake, be sure you pick up a manual can opener, if you end up not needing it during the storm we are sure you will be able to use it in the supermarket parking lot to get out of your car the next time we predict a storm of cataclysmic proportions.

Finally once our area is completely in the dark at least you can be in the know by downloading our app. to stay abreast of all the latest news and information. It might be a good idea to pick up a solar charger for your phone in the unlikely event that we ever see the sun again, you will want to be able to charge up in order to keep current on all your “Words with Friends”.

JT

 

 

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About JT

I am a happily married man with 6 children and have an autoimmune disease. I hope to share my story and explore others' stories and perhaps together both of our lives will be enhanced.
This entry was posted in humor and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

4 Responses to The Storm of which Century!

  1. I’m not sure where you live exactly, but it certainly sounds like the way people behave here in the Memphis, TN area when a snowflake is predicted. I too, rush out to the store when I hear word of an impending storm. But I usually run to the liquor store, lol. But now I must consider that solar charger because what’s a winter storm without an Appletini AND Words With Friends? 🙂

  2. Jennwith2ns says:

    HAHA! That was great, JT.

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