Dear Readership, I come to you with news of epic proportions! This is beyond my ability to comprehend or give complete explanations for, in fact I was completely blindsided by this event. I come to you my most trusted and knowledgeable compatriots in order to seek your counsel. Prepare yourselves, for what I am about to reveal to you has caused dramatic alterations in family histories for generations!
As of 11:45am on June 13th 2012 Thadeus John Tower, my first grandson was born. Based on the fact that I have 3 of my 6 children still at home the youngest being 4, it is at this point painfully obvious I am sure to you, that me becoming a grandfather, borders on the outer limits of probability. Therefore I am faced with this dubious question… Grandpa will simply not be an acceptable choice for what Teddy Jr shall call me. Your mission , should you accept it, is to riddle me with acceptable alternates of which “Grandpappy Jack” is not one of them.