“The truth of the matter is, we all come to prayer with a tangled mass of motives altruistic and selfish, merciful and hateful, loving and bitter. Frankly, this side of eternity we will never unravel the good from the bad, the pure from the impure. God is big enough to receive us with all our mixture. That is what grace means, and not only are we saved by it, we live by it as well. And we pray by it.”
Richard J. Foster
Spiritual life is not measured by success, it is measured by what God pours through us and that cannot be measured at all. Oswald Chambers
Prayer is considered by many, acted on in part, and believed by few. I am a praying man but I will admit that my praying life is like a roller coaster with hiccups. I often struggle for consistency and later reflect and have to ask why. If someone says to me do you believe in God, I have not the slightest hesitation in responding in the affirmative, meanwhile I face the reality of living an oxymoron type of faith. Intellectual faith isn’t really a great basis for a spiritual life, and prayer without true faith seems, at the least disingenuous, after all why am I beseeching God with some petition If I don’t actually expect some sort of response. I end up praying instead for more faith so that when I pray, it is part of a dialogue rather than a verbal monologue of perceived needs and wants.
At some point I believe the Lord will have transformed me on the inside, that my prayers will generate out of a love relationship with him and not my own narrow-minded ideas.
I haven’t asked for a Mercedes Benz or even a large sum of money, however I have stooped to asking him to remove my ear and nose hair,(read more about that here). That probably seems petty, it is, I guess my faith is strong enough to believe God accepts and loves us regardless of our short comings.
I have a lot of growing to do still…the people in my life are probably praying that will come soon. In the meantime I will continue to go to my God in all my imperfections, sit down over a cup of java and have conversations….oh and I should probably say one more thing, I have noticed that in all my shortcomings and times of little faith it really is amazing how many times I have seen him answer!