There he is, where, I say scanning the room full of newborns. Over to the left there, the one with all the hair!
That’s where it all starts, the oohing and the aahing and the compliments flying, what a beautiful head of hair they exclaim! Would you look at that head of hair just look at it.
Mom’s spend the next umpteen years braiding it and trimming it and curling it and making it even and working the bangs or taking them away. Little johnny ended up in the briar patch better get the clippers out and give him a butch!
Really, think about it, if you took all hair away how much more time would you have in your life! No more cutting and coloring and perming and shampooing and blow drying and styling and on and on. Once you reach the teen years more time is spent on hair than eating, sleeping or getting an education! There would be no more hair pulling, crimping, yanking, blowing in the wind, work safety or sanitary issues!
Then you get older and you start losing it, both the color and the amount, and if that wasn’t enough the topper that really gets me hotter than a hairdresser on steroids, is the new places the hair decides to grow! What in God‘s green earth is the purpose of ear hair…Really!, Can someone please enlighten me as to why I can go 40 plus years where the only thing I had to do was wash my ears and now, I have to humiliate myself at the barber shop by asking the Barber to spend some time with his implements grooming my inner ear and hoping his sense of humor doesn’t include leaving a few crop circles in there!
The worst is nose hair , Oh I know, we have probably had some kind of hair in there our whole lives but why oh why is it suddenly important to create a chia pet at the end of my nostrils! I decide I will rip it out by the roots and be done with it once and for all, HA, fat chance, after a couple of attempts it took days for some of the feeling to come back. So I decide to go shopping for something to help with this infraction on human decency. I paused momentarily at the epi-ladies before cowardice took full control. Eventually I was gifted a lovely nose trimming set. PLEASE is this really necessary!
I am seriously considering some ancient chinese torture treatments where I am willing to give up all my deepest secrets for some modicum of hygienic reciprocity!